I am tired of everyone telling me who to be and who not to be.
I am just me.
I am nothing more and nothing less.
I am here for people when they need me the most.
I try to take on the worlds problems.
Like one of my once best friends said, "I am the psychiastrist that doesn't get paid.
I am always here when someone needs a shoulder to cry on.
The only problem is that when I am in need,
I look around and no one is really hear for me, except family and God.
Everyone else is busy with their own lives.
They are forever trying to find a medium of their own happiness.
Trying to make a name for themselves.
And for what?
For the world to only screw you over in the end?
I wonder if anyone can connect and know how I feel?
I sit here in the dark.
It is just me and this blank screen.
I ask myself what is my life all about?
I have nothing to show for anything, except more grief and strife.
I am down a path that has come to a dead end.
I stand here empty handed.
Where did I do wrong?
Could it possible be any worse than this?
Even my friends has given up on me.
When did I stop "truly" believing?
I'm stuck in the middle,
Half way between Heaven and Hell.
Well, for now it seems like Hell on earth.
I have lost my drive, my desire.
I tangled myself in my own web.
I tried to hard to prove myself.
I have failed.
I look around for someone to blame.
The finger points staight to me.
No one understands how I am.
If they did, they would try to lend a hand.
I want to succedd.
Why is it so hard?
God, reach down.
I need your touch.
I need your love,
your grace,
your mercy,
your guidance.
Why can't I seem to find peace.
The love within that tames all.
The choices I have made are coming back to haunt me.
They surround me day and night.
I am now feeling the reprecussions and after math of my mistakes.
How could I have let this happen?
Why did I make the wrong choices?
How do I begin to change them?
Am I to far gone?
I know I have what it takes.
God lives within me.
I just wish I had the strength to show it!
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