"TEARS NO MORE"

Lord, these tears stream down my face..I call on your holy name..Why Lord do I feel this way deep down..it flows through my vains..? You know my heart God and now it is filled with heartache....It is written: be filled with joy and laughter and sing praises to your King (but I ask- how do I do this when the world "tries" to bring me down around me?.. You know all of my thoughts ( I not only long to know you more and walk hand in hand with you... I seek after you and your kingdom (for it is at hand)..I have made the decision to give my life over to you and let you do what you see fit with me..I know you are just testing me now (my dispensation)..And somehow -I feel like I am failing the test..I don't want to feel like I have to prove myself to anyone..but you (My Lord, My Savior)..I look around..others try to act like they know my motives..they don't have a clue..If only others could see what is buried deep within me..I ask Lord that you let my light shine even more..like it never has before..Lord, I lift my hands to you..I fall to my knees..I muffle my sobs in my hands..I ask why me Lord..What could I possible do for you or others?..All I can do is tell them of what you have done for me and how they can have the same(A Lord and Savior that asks us to call upon his name..and truly believe he died for our sins and rose on the third day)..He shed his BLOOD for you and me! I want to tell people to repent of their sins.. God is just to forgive and he sends peace and love for us to share and give)..Please Lord, Use me as an instrument to reach out to those in need...YOU are the ONLY ONE that SAVES..We can not do it on our own..I think we forget that..You use some of us to plant a seed or to come along and water and take care of it..But you are the one that gives the flower life..Ultimately, You are the sun that gives all of us your energy or we shrivel up and die (Maybe not physically..but spiritually we make a void and invite loneliness to come in and take hold)...You know that I have totally surrendered every last part of me up in your Holy Hands..I fully trust in you..I remember your words.. Jeremiah 29:11..So, I do not worry..I know that I am not perfect-- I can admit when I am in the wrong..This is what makes me flesh and blood..And I admit this to you and the world..Who is anyone to Judge, except you? We are all in the same boat..Some just choose to jump out and sink straight to the bottom..with all the worldly chains pulling them down under the water..they are forever drowning....It just hurts to know that I was not good enough...I know Lord you will continue to Bless us if we show and humble ourselves to you..In the meantime, I know you are preparing me for what you have in store for me to do for you Lord..I love you with all my mind, with all my heart, and with all my soul..I will not give up as long as I live .I will find my strength and rest in you..I will always serve you and listen to your Holy Spirit guiding me along my journey through life..I serve Only You my Master! For in the end, every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is Lord!