Hopeless

Wow is all I can say...I will give myself ten minutes to see if I can write what I feel now... So, lets see..here we go..on your mark get set....GO!We all having feelings of hopelessness..granted..even sometimes despair..But where does it stem from?..Maybe on some remote fear of loneliness..that we'll never have anyone to love and care for us..that will call us their own..A companion that would weather life's storms and still stand strong..And the best part..TOGETHER! I guess "the majority" are afraid of failure or rejection..those are the most common reasons given..But my personal belief is "Nothing Ventured Is Nothing Gained"! This holds true 90% of the time..If you never try then how will you know?? I love meeting new people..but there are boundaries that need to be set..I just worry of hurting people so much because I know how it feels..and it is not a pretty sight! People get hurt..that is a part of life..But to know that you hurt them (even if it is not on purpose)..How do you pick up and forgive yourself? Not anybody in their right mind wants to be second best..unless to God..that is a different story..We all want to feel appreciated and loved and just to know that someone wants to help carry the load of some of your burdens that you bury deep down inside..I am just being honest and real..I don't think this is wrong to feel this way..and you have your own opinion and I will not bash you for what you have to say..because that is your own free will and that is not in my character to do..For all who "truly" know me..If I make a PROMISE..I mean to keep it..that is the way I am..I don't put up a front..that is just me..and just another quality that I possess! I don't think I have to perform to act my best..I am naturally happy go lucky...and if you haven't noticed..Very RANDOM!.. But hey..I can live with that..can u?..I believe it keeps for interestin conversation..and that is one step closer in digging into a person's spiritual soul..that should live inside of each of us..But it is a matter of fact..We all are guilty at some point or another..of putting on a masquarde mask..If you think about it longer..That is only really lieing..to the world..but most importantly to yourself.. Just another mask of deception..All of this to cover our inner beings..Afraid to let go of the past..Afraid that it might repeat itself..Only causing only more heartache...That will not mend... All we can do is make a choice..Will I dwell in the past and constantly let that rule my life and dictact who I am today?..Or Simply choice to leave it at the foot of the cross and give him our pain...Only then will we be ready to move on..Face another day! Just waiting and praying on what God "FAITHFULLY" will bring!This is just some of my everyday thoughts..just floating around in mid air..waiting for someone that will give an ear and open mind and attend unto my cry..That longing of close, true, intimate friendship that will stand the tests of time..Only then will you know that is what God handed you... It is just meant to be!